Obviously, if you are a friend or family member on my Facebook, you have noticed my bouncing around from website to website. I’m not going to lie, I’m having a major identity crisis. I have gone from running a fairly successful blog, to being ambushed and attacked for my feelings, and now I’m dwindling in the wind trying to get my bearings. I hate that people were able to get under my skin like that. I hate when I have to fight back. I hate having to remain stoic when I just want to crawl into a hole and cry myself to death. But, that’s what I was faced with and am still faced with.
I decided I don’t necessarily want a blog anymore. I don’t want to tell people my feelings especially since, in the wrong hands, those emotions and thoughts can and will be used against me. I have been blogging for fourteen years; I have been threatened with lawsuits by family, friends, and boyfriends along the way. I have dealt with it all (or so I thought) and I knew my rights as a blogger. One of those rights, I thought, was being able to spew out my feelings without anyone firing back. Well, someone finally did it. The people whom I thought were the closest in my life, when I finally told them how I really felt, threw everything they could in my face. I’m so angry about it. I will probably be angry for the rest of my life for that is the curse of the Scorpio. (Let me set the record straight — warning: harsh language and I might hurt some feelies.)
Feeling depressed, angry, and like I’m a compete failure, I had nowhere to turn. I had no blog I could write on because I was attacked through it. I had no family that I could run to because all of them are biased. I had no friends I could turn to because who really wants to listen to the story all over again? Except Dusty. That girl is my rock. I never met her. I became friends with her on MySpace through one of my best friends in high school. Dusty is always there for me; lord am I thankful for her.
At any rate, I was destitute. Not really, but kind of. I bounced from site to site, trying to find a way to be myself again. Finally, it came to me. “Angelica*Made”. A site for me, by me, and where I could post my ideas, thoughts, creations… As dumb as it sounds, I was assessing where I am in my blogging life and I think I am passed the whole “blog” thing. I don’t want to let people know I’m hurting and sad anymore. I do, however, want to share things still. I want to share recipes, tutorials, codes, and website stuff. So, here it is! Angelica*Made is my new home and I’m going to stay here. 🙂